I am going to be 100% real with you guys, my first trimester was no walk in the park.
For those women who boast about their entire pregnancy being filled with butterflies and how they never felt better in their lives, tell me what magical drugs you were on because I needed them during those first few months!
I’ve always been pretty self conscious about my body, having suffered anorexia during my early college years, so imagining my stomach growing to the size of a watermelon was a little nerve racking. One of my biggest concerns were that I would fall back into restricting the further I would go into my pregnancy.
That all changed though when I saw the heartbeat for the first time. There was a life inside me. I was nurturing a living being, half of myself, and that thought definitely overrode the daunting thought of gaining 20-50lbs.
I won’t lie to you and say it’s been a complete walk in the park. Whenever I do feel like I am having those thoughts, I usually confide in Amin who will talk me through my feelings and I’ll feel better.
I’ve really embraced eating whatever I want, whenever I want (in moderation) and seriously, everyone needs to get on that. It’s a good life. Ever since getting pregnant, I have learned that there’s a lot in life that cannot be controlled and it’s best to just roll with the punches. I may want to eat healthy 80/20 like all the celebrities and health advocates suggest, but I don’t have a trainer and cook and makeup artist and stylist. I’m just me, and not being perfect all the time is okay. There’s beauty in imperfection. I may try to eat healthy, but if it’s 50/50 one day, 100% the next, and 1/10 the next is perfectly alright.
Cravings. Are. Real. All I wanted to eat in my first trimester was chaat and spicy food. That’s all I could think about if I wasn’t vomiting everything I had eaten an hour earlier. And I don’t really love either! So it was interesting to see how my body was craving food I normally wouldn’t totally enjoy. I would ask Amin to get me pani puri or bhel puri almost everyday. If I wasn’t craving that, it would be spicy biryani or Thai food.
Also, morning sickness isn’t only in the morning! It’s all day- and it sucks. When I worked as a recruiter, I would be on the phone with a candidate, and would literally cut them off in the middle of an interview, give them an excuse about an emergency meeting, and run to the bathroom. It became a workout with the amount of times I would rush to the other side of the office!
I was also super fatigued all the time, which is understandable because was I not only growing a human inside me, which my body had never experienced before, but I was almost always sick as well.
I would get very frustrated in the beginning, because I wouldn’t be able to stay up past 8:30pm no matter how hard I tried, but I eventually embraced it and owned being a sleepy monster all the time. I also love sleep so I don’t mind anymore, hehe.
My first trimester was definitely an aggressive introduction to pregnancy but one that I do not despise at all. Yes, it was tough, but it has gotten much easier now, which has made me appreciate this process and journey even more. If it taught me anything, it was that women’s bodies are tough and resilient as hell, and I’ve learned to really love and appreciate mine. That is something I never really did before, but now, when looking in the mirror, I don’t criticize every curve and imperfection, rather I embrace my unique, strong, beautiful home for my baby and soul.